By my estimate, I have been “out” for about 15 years. Wow. I am old. Anyhow, I say 15 years because that is the day that I told my parents. The people most important to me.
I never really realized that I live in a bubble. I have been rather fortunate that most of the friends that I have now are also gay. And also “out”. The straight friends that I have only have known me as a lesbian. I live in my comfortable little bubble of gayness.
Obviously with the recently beautiful wedding that I had with my absolutely lovely and amazing wife, I have recently started wearing a wedding ring. Naturally, I suppose this has encouraged co-workers, acquaintances, strangers and I suppose the general public to ask about my husband. Now don’t get me wrong, I totally understand how people would come to that assumption, I assume things all the time. I guess what is really surprising to me is that even after 15 years of being out, knowing this isn’t a phase and never hiding who I am, I am finding myself have to do that all over again and feeling nervous. I suppose this nervous feeling is because I generally think that I am a private person.
I am all for everyone who identifies as queer to come out. I think it is important and has made me a better person honestly. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that this process is NEVER done. And now, I can truly appreciate how it can be a difficult decision for some to come out….because here I am, 15 years later, a married lesbian explaining to people that my wife is more than a friend, and yes I am sure that I am gay, and yes my family is okay with it, and yes I am okay with it, and yes gay people can get married for real.