Yoga. Again. Will I never learn.

As part of Jen’s ongoing crusade to “help” me get fit she has been on me to go to Hot (Bikram) Yoga.  You may remember my previous attempts at yoga. Traditionally it doesn’t go well.

Tonight’s yoga class starts with a lesson in deep breathing. Everyone proceeds to sound like Orcs or some other medieval creature while breathing in and out. I am having trouble taking it seriously. Actually I am rolling my eyes so hard it hurts.

Then for the next 90 minutes I am encouraged to bend and stretch my body in ways that are completely unnatural. And painful. It is hot and I am sweating for the first time in my life. Seriously – previous to tonight I was under the belief that I just didn’t sweat very much. Just not much of a sweater. Ha! As the night goes on each pose makes me more and more nauseous. To make matters worse, between poses we are allowed to lay down, this sounds like a welcome reprieve – but we keep turning around. Like the pose is facing north, but we lay down facing south. It is awful. Terrible. And every time we sit up half of the people make this ridiculous “hi-ya!” sound. And I am not even considering laughing – because I am trying not to pass out.

To be repeated and continued…

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